I am only at Tip #2 and can already feel my “inner writer” coming back to life. I’ve been torturing myself for so long — many new ideas and perspectives to share and nothing but dread at the thought of the actual writing. I was always such a “good student”, and by the time I finished grad school I no longer enjoyed either reading or writing. Pretty sad statement, even sadder that the ill effects have lasted three decades.
The only writing advice I’ve read so far basically boils down to: it’s work, you just have to do it, set aside a specific time and force yourself…. all about as appealing as my mother’s shoe leather lamb chops. I can’t thank you enough for your approach. I think it’s going to work for me, and just know I am immensely grateful beyond what words can express. Yes!
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Third parties can help disputants accurately assess their BATNAs through reality testing and costing . In reality testing, the third party helps clarify and ground each disputing party's alternatives to agreement. S/he may do this by asking hard questions about the asserted BATNA: "How could you do that? What would the outcome be? What would the other side do? How do you know?" Or the third party may simply insert new information into the discussion...illustrating that one side's assessment of its BATNA is likely incorrect. Costing is a more general approach to the same process...it is a systematic effort to determine the costs and benefits of all options. In so doing, parties will come to understand all their alternatives. If this is done together and the parties agree on the assessment, this provides a strong basis upon which to come up with a negotiated solution that is better than both sides' alternatives. But if the sides cannot come to such an agreement, then negotiations will break down, and both parties will pursue their BATNA instead of a negotiated outcome.